corned beef hash

First things first: why the eff’ is that can made that way? It’s a trapezoid. Who makes a can that is a trapezoid? A trapezoid isn’t even a good geometric shape. In fact, it isn’t even a thing unless you’re American, because the rest of the English-speaking world calls the wretched thing a trapezium, which is also the name of a bone in your wrist. Figure that out.

trapezoid      trapezium bone

A can opener is of no use when it comes to 90° angles, y’all. So you have to use that little key thing that’s attached to the side of the can … but what do you do if you get the damn trapezoid home and there no key?

Cuz that’s happened to me. You’re going to need power tools.

There’s also the ritual of steeling yourself for what you’re going to find when you finally break into that trapezoid. It’s never pretty. And you’ll have to come to terms with the fact that you’re actually going to consume … and expect your kids to consume … the contents. Which look something like this:



These days, I use actual corned beef. But it was a good cheap meal that went a long way when I was poor single mom and you do what you have to do. The kids loved it … and honestly, so did i.


  • Vegetable oil
  • Diced/shredded or minced corn beef (personal taste) – OR – 1 trapezoid shaped can of questionable meat product with the words “corned beef” on the label
  • 1 sweet (Vidalia, preferably) onion, diced
  • Several potatoes, peeled and diced. (The more potatoes you use, the more peoples you feed.)
  • Salt (a little) and pepper (a lot) to taste

Heat a couple tablespoons of the oil in a skillet (cast iron is the best way to go) and add the corned beef. Cook and stir until it browns a little.

Add the onions and potatoes. Let them sit on a medium heat until they’ve browned. Seriously, don’t stir them until they’re rockin’ some good color and crispiness. Turn to brown the other side and then cook and stir until the potatoes are cooked through and the onions are carmelized.

Serve with eggs. Cuz that’s delicious.

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